THE BAD DAYS!!
THE BAD DAYS!!
Over the last 7 months there has been every emotion you can think of. I don’t begin to even think I can even imagine what he goes through. I do wish with ever fibre of my being it could of been me instead of him. I would take it all away if I had the chance and that was pretty much the hardest thing to accept on my part.
I can‘t fix this
I can’t cure him
I can’t make it all go away like a mom should.
The first night we came home from the hospital. We had to do multiple checks in the middle of the night. The 2nd check we did, his fingers were so sore he just cried and screamed, WHY ME!! I didn’t say anything, cause I had no answer, I just cried with him at 3am till we cried ourselves asleep.
We thought he would go back to school right away. But it took over two weeks to get him back there because everyone was severely uncomfortable not knowing how to take care of him. So they decided that Adding in multiple extra finger pokes a day would help, yes his most hated part of the disease would make the transition so much easier🙄🙄 but we were told to accommodate what the school system wanted (don’t get me started) The kids thought he was infectious and if they didn’t think that they told him he did it to himself. They didn’t want him on the grade 6 end of the year 3 day camp out. So then the depression hit. The realization this was never going away and everyone treated him like he was broken. Those 2 weeks were the scariest of our lives. I didn’t leave his side for one minute I was that scared for my son. I slept with him we missed everyplace we were supposed to be but I didn’t care. Thank GOD school ended not to long after that. We had the summer to figure this out.
He was on multiple injections before because we weren’t allowed a pump right away so our job was to make sure he didn’t hit a low blood sugar. I had basically become a pancreas. My entire day was consumed by what he would eat, carb counting, assessing his mood, his look, his mannerisms. It was a 24/7 job..... literally some days went into the night with multiple checks. Everything you can think of effects blood glucose, hormones, illness, types of foods, amount of sleep, lack of sleep.... pretty much breathing and some days you just have no idea why the hell he is SO high!
I guess the best way to describe it is that being high, what I hear at least, is like being hungover x10. They don’t feel good, they are externally tired and GRUMPY. Low blood glucose is scary, this is what we avoid... Coltons symptoms have changed over time before his hands would shake uncontrollably and he would look like he was hit by a truck. Lately, he can feel it coming on because suddenly he feels like he can barely walk his legs will almost collapse from under him. It’s and up and down battle that he literally fights EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. Then, god forbid, if he gets sick...... my god those days are terrifying can you imagine them vomiting can’t keep their carbs down and how much Insulin to give. Ya I have no idea either😳
But days did eventually get better. We got a glucose monitor so he didn’t have to finger poke so much. We saw a counsellor and we signed him up for a diabetic hockey camp, everyone suggested to start to be around other kids with type one diabetes and they were right. It was the first time I think he felt like he belonged again, I hadn’t seen him smile like that in a while. And he rocks that diabetic jersey still🥰 He made some incredible friends that I feel he will have for life. They showed him how a insulin pump works which convinced him to get one himself. They actually have made a plan to go see the Canucks VS Montreal game dec 17 together, we are so excited. He got his pump and his life has became a lot more freeing.
We switched schools & hockey clubs to have a fresh start and now he has confidence in his disease. He will happily share all about it and shows everyone his gadgets to educate everyone he no longer feel like the broken kid at school.
I know there will be plenty of bad days, good days & just awful days but what I have learned in these last 7 months is we did nothing to cause this it’s an auto immune disorder where his immune system just started attacking the beta cells of his pancreas, which can happen from a common cold. My guilt has eased and I now know I can’t do anything to fix it but I can be here every day to cry with him & educate myself and the public about this disease so no one thinks he is contagious or did anything to cause this. The more we talk about it the closer we will get to a cure!! I am no where near an expert but I am always learning how to make his life even a tad bit easier.
There is a battle that rages on constantly inside a type 1 diabetic and is harder than we will ever know or want to. And any child that deals with this is the true real life version of a super hero.
My son is a type one diabetic, a diabetic warrior but more importantly he is my hero💙
Over the last 7 months there has been every emotion you can think of. I don’t begin to even think I can even imagine what he goes through. I do wish with ever fibre of my being it could of been me instead of him. I would take it all away if I had the chance and that was pretty much the hardest thing to accept on my part.
I can‘t fix this
I can’t cure him
I can’t make it all go away like a mom should.
The first night we came home from the hospital. We had to do multiple checks in the middle of the night. The 2nd check we did, his fingers were so sore he just cried and screamed, WHY ME!! I didn’t say anything, cause I had no answer, I just cried with him at 3am till we cried ourselves asleep.
We thought he would go back to school right away. But it took over two weeks to get him back there because everyone was severely uncomfortable not knowing how to take care of him. So they decided that Adding in multiple extra finger pokes a day would help, yes his most hated part of the disease would make the transition so much easier🙄🙄 but we were told to accommodate what the school system wanted (don’t get me started) The kids thought he was infectious and if they didn’t think that they told him he did it to himself. They didn’t want him on the grade 6 end of the year 3 day camp out. So then the depression hit. The realization this was never going away and everyone treated him like he was broken. Those 2 weeks were the scariest of our lives. I didn’t leave his side for one minute I was that scared for my son. I slept with him we missed everyplace we were supposed to be but I didn’t care. Thank GOD school ended not to long after that. We had the summer to figure this out.
He was on multiple injections before because we weren’t allowed a pump right away so our job was to make sure he didn’t hit a low blood sugar. I had basically become a pancreas. My entire day was consumed by what he would eat, carb counting, assessing his mood, his look, his mannerisms. It was a 24/7 job..... literally some days went into the night with multiple checks. Everything you can think of effects blood glucose, hormones, illness, types of foods, amount of sleep, lack of sleep.... pretty much breathing and some days you just have no idea why the hell he is SO high!
I guess the best way to describe it is that being high, what I hear at least, is like being hungover x10. They don’t feel good, they are externally tired and GRUMPY. Low blood glucose is scary, this is what we avoid... Coltons symptoms have changed over time before his hands would shake uncontrollably and he would look like he was hit by a truck. Lately, he can feel it coming on because suddenly he feels like he can barely walk his legs will almost collapse from under him. It’s and up and down battle that he literally fights EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. Then, god forbid, if he gets sick...... my god those days are terrifying can you imagine them vomiting can’t keep their carbs down and how much Insulin to give. Ya I have no idea either😳
But days did eventually get better. We got a glucose monitor so he didn’t have to finger poke so much. We saw a counsellor and we signed him up for a diabetic hockey camp, everyone suggested to start to be around other kids with type one diabetes and they were right. It was the first time I think he felt like he belonged again, I hadn’t seen him smile like that in a while. And he rocks that diabetic jersey still🥰 He made some incredible friends that I feel he will have for life. They showed him how a insulin pump works which convinced him to get one himself. They actually have made a plan to go see the Canucks VS Montreal game dec 17 together, we are so excited. He got his pump and his life has became a lot more freeing.
We switched schools & hockey clubs to have a fresh start and now he has confidence in his disease. He will happily share all about it and shows everyone his gadgets to educate everyone he no longer feel like the broken kid at school.
I know there will be plenty of bad days, good days & just awful days but what I have learned in these last 7 months is we did nothing to cause this it’s an auto immune disorder where his immune system just started attacking the beta cells of his pancreas, which can happen from a common cold. My guilt has eased and I now know I can’t do anything to fix it but I can be here every day to cry with him & educate myself and the public about this disease so no one thinks he is contagious or did anything to cause this. The more we talk about it the closer we will get to a cure!! I am no where near an expert but I am always learning how to make his life even a tad bit easier.
There is a battle that rages on constantly inside a type 1 diabetic and is harder than we will ever know or want to. And any child that deals with this is the true real life version of a super hero.
My son is a type one diabetic, a diabetic warrior but more importantly he is my hero💙
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